It was a rainy evening when Shayla decided it was time to ask Anthony the question that had been swirling in her mind for months. She stood at the kitchen counter, stirring a pot of soup, the comforting scent filling the small but cozy house. Anthony was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television, but she knew his mind was elsewhere. The house was peaceful, but Shayla could feel the weight of the silence between them, a silence that had grown heavy since they had adopted Liam.
Liam, their adopted son, had been with them for over a year now, a bright, energetic 9-year-old boy who had experienced more heartache than anyone his age should. Anthony had been the one to push for the adoption, his compassion running deep, but lately, Shayla noticed an unease in him whenever Liam was around. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but she could sense it in the way he avoided eye contact with Liam during dinner or how his smiles never reached his eyes when they played together.
The question had been gnawing at Shayla for weeks. She had seen the way Anthony looked at Liam sometimes – not with the same unwavering love he had shown their biological daughter, Ava, but with a kind of hesitation, a doubt that made her heart ache for both of them.
“Anthony?” she called softly, breaking the stillness.
He looked over at her, his expression unreadable. “Yeah?”
“Can we talk?”
He tilted his head slightly, sensing the seriousness in her voice. “Sure. What’s up?”
She walked over to the couch, sitting beside him. The rain tapped against the windows, the only sound filling the quiet room. She took a deep breath, steadying herself before asking the question that had been haunting her.
“How do you really feel about Liam?” she asked, her voice gentle but firm. “I mean… deep down. I know you care about him, but it seems like… there’s something you’re not saying. I just need to know.”
Anthony’s gaze dropped to the floor. For a moment, Shayla thought he might not answer at all, that he might avoid the question like he had so many times before. But then he shifted, running a hand through his hair, his shoulders sagging with the weight of something unspoken.
“I don’t know,” he began slowly, his voice almost a whisper. “I wanted this, Shayla. I really did. I thought I could love him the way I love Ava… but sometimes, I wonder if I can.”
Shayla’s heart clenched, but she remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
“I thought adoption would be like bringing a new member into our family, like he’d just fit right in, and we’d love him as our own. But it’s… harder than I thought. I see the way he looks at me, like he’s searching for something, and I don’t know if I can give it to him.” Anthony paused, his voice catching. “I don’t know if I can be the father he needs.”
Shayla’s eyes softened, and she reached out, taking his hand in hers. “You don’t have to be perfect,” she said, her voice steady but kind. “He’s not asking for perfection. He’s asking for love, Anthony. And you have so much of that to give.”
Anthony looked at her, his eyes full of uncertainty. “But what if it’s not enough? What if I’m holding back, and I don’t even know it?”
Shayla squeezed his hand, her voice full of conviction. “You’re not holding back. You’re just scared. It’s okay to be scared. Liam’s been through a lot, and so have you. But you have a heart full of love for him, even when you don’t know how to show it.”
Anthony swallowed hard, the weight of his emotions lifting slightly as he listened to her. “I want to be the father he needs,” he admitted quietly. “But sometimes, I feel like I’m failing him.”
Shayla shook her head. “You’re not failing him, Anthony. You’re learning, just like he is. You both are. It’s not going to be easy, but love doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real.”
There was a long silence as they sat together, the sound of the rain filling the space between them. Finally, Anthony nodded, his shoulders relaxing just a little. “I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the way I do about Ava with Liam, but I’ll try. I’ll keep trying, for him. For us.”
Shayla smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “That’s all I’m asking. We’ll figure it out together.”
And in that moment, as the rain continued to fall outside, Anthony realized that love wasn’t a destination to be reached – it was a journey, one that would take time, patience, and the willingness to open his heart, even when it felt uncertain. And with Shayla by his side, he knew he wouldn’t have to take that journey alone.