đShayla’s in for a shocker – she’s about to kiss her apartment goodbyeđ Full Skit BELOWđ
đShayla’s in for a shocker – she’s about to kiss her apartment goodbyeđ
[Setting: Shaylaâs apartment â cozy, slightly messy, with houseplants and art prints everywhere. Her best friend, Tiana, is visiting. Shaylaâs in leggings and an oversized hoodie, sipping iced coffee.]
Tiana:
Girl, you look way too relaxed for someone about to open mail from their landlord.
Shayla:
Because it’s probably just another reminder about the âno incenseâ policy. đ I swear, these people act like sandalwood is a biohazard.
Tiana:
Or maybe theyâre finally giving you that rent reduction for dealing with the leaky ceiling?
Shayla: (ripping open the envelope)
Ugh. Dream big, right? Letâs seeâ [reads silently] Wait.
Tiana:
What?
Shayla:
No⊠no, no, no, no, no. This has to be a mistake.
Tiana:
Shayla, youâre scaring me. What does it say?
Shayla: (reading aloud, voice shaky)
“Notice of Non-Renewal of Lease. Effective November 30th, 2025. Please ensure the apartment is vacated and all keys returned by that date.”
Tiana:
âŠWHAT?! Youâre getting kicked out?!
Shayla:
They said theyâre ârepurposing the unit for executive short-term rental options.â What does that even mean? Airbnb?!
Tiana:
Theyâre turning your home into a damn hotel room. Thatâs what that means.
Shayla:
Iâve lived here for four years! Through three property managers, one winter with no heat, and that mold situation in 2023! And now theyâre just⊠shoving me out like trash?
Tiana:
Capitalism, babe. No loyalty, just profit. đ€
Shayla: (pacing)
I just put up new shelves. I was finally feeling settled. My grocery store knows me. My neighbors like me. I water old Mr. Greeneâs plants when heâs out of town!
Tiana:
This is straight-up evil. You canât fight it?
Shayla:
It says right here: âPer clause 14B of the lease, the landlord reserves the right not to renew without cause.â I signed that. I didnât think theyâd actually use it.
Tiana:
They always do when they smell more money.
Shayla: (sinks into the couch)
I donât even know where to go. The rent out there is insane. Everywhereâs either a shoebox or a scam.
Tiana:
Okay, donât spiral yet. Weâve got time. November 30th gives you like⊠what, six weeks?
Shayla:
Thatâs 42 days. Six weekends. 1,008 hours.
…Iâm spiraling, arenât I?
Tiana:
Hard. But listenâmaybe this is the universe telling you something. Maybe thereâs a better place waiting. Something bigger. Something without mold.
Shayla:
Or itâs the universe telling me to buy a tent and set up under a bridge.
Tiana:
Nope. We are not letting you get evicted and emotionally wrecked. Weâre gonna apartment hunt, call every shady Craigslist number, make spreadsheets, bribe leasing agents with cookies if we have to.
Shayla: (sighs)
Youâd really do that?
Tiana:
Girl, Iâd go full Liam Neeson on these landlords if I could. âI will find you⊠and I will negotiate rent control.â
Shayla: (laughing through tears)
God, I hate this. But⊠I love you.
Tiana:
Love you too. Now put on pantsâweâre starting the âSave Shaylaâs Sanityâ operation today. First stop: coffee. Second stop: Zillow hell.
Shayla:
Tiana. I just got a text.
Tiana (half-asleep):
WhaâShayla? Itâs midnight.
Shayla:
From an unknown number. It said: âYou should start packing. They donât give warnings twice.â
Tiana:
What?! Who sent that?
Shayla:
I donât know. No name. Just⊠vibes. Creepy ones.
Tiana:
Okay, listen. Forward it to me. Screenshot everything. This isnât just âthey want to rent to tourists.â This feels⊠targeted.
[Next day â Shayla heads to the leasing office. The front desk girl, normally chatty, barely makes eye contact.]
Shayla:
Hey, I got this letterânon-renewal? Can I talk to someone about it?
Receptionist (quietly):
Ms. Monroe isnât available. Youâll need to email the regional office.
Shayla:
Right, but can someone just explain why my apartment is suddenly being ârepurposedâ? Thatâs vague as hell.
Receptionist:
Itâs out of my hands.
Shayla:
Youâre seriously telling me no one can talk to me?
[Receptionist leans in, whispers under her breath.]
Receptionist:
You should⊠go. And not ask too many questions.
[Shayla stares, stunned. The receptionist quickly turns away, typing again.]
[That night â Shaylaâs back home. She notices something strange: her living room window, normally jammed shut, is slightly open.]
Shayla (to herself):
I locked that.
[She walks over, pushes it closed. Notices faint muddy footprints near the sill on the inside.]
Shayla (whispering):
No. No way.
[Her phone buzzes again â another message from the unknown number.]
UNKNOWN:
âThey were already inside. You just didnât notice.â
[Shayla calls Tiana â voice trembling.]
Shayla:
Ti⊠I think someoneâs been in my apartment.
Tiana:
What?! Are you okay? Call the cops!
Shayla:
Thereâs nothing missing. Nothing broken. Just⊠that window. And the texts.
Tiana:
Babe, this isnât just a shady eviction. Somethingâs going on. You need to get out of there.
Shayla:
I canât leave, Ti. I need to know why. Why now? Why me?
Tiana:
No apartment is worth this. Theyâre trying to push you out for a reasonâand itâs not just rent.
[A few days later â Shayla finds an old maintenance report stuffed behind her bathroom cabinet. Itâs water-damaged, but a few words stand out.]
March 2022 â UNIT 3B
Hazardous material found. Report filed. Contained (pending approval).
Shayla (to herself):
3B⊠Thatâs my unit. Thatâs me.
[She flips the paper overâthereâs a handwritten note.]
âDO NOT RENEW. Quietly.â
